Small Talk Tips: Marriage, Divorce and Pregnancy
Discussing personal topics such as marriage, divorce, and pregnancy is quite common among Americans and can be a great way to get to know your colleagues better and build stronger relationships. It can also be a way to move beyond surface-level small talk and make deeper connections with your colleagues.
However, it's important to approach these topics with respect and sensitivity, and to only bring them up when you feel comfortable and when the other person is willing to engage in the conversation.
As a rule of thumb, I recommend not being the one to bring up these topics first. If the other person opens up about their personal life, then it is ok to ask follow-up questions.
As a non-native speaker, it can be uncomfortable to discuss personal topics such as marriage, divorce, and pregnancy because of concerns you may have about using the correct vocabulary or expressions.
To help you navigate these conversations with more confidence, here are some common expressions and phrases to use, along with common mistakes to avoid, for each topic:
MARRIAGE
get married
They got married two years ago.
I'm getting married next month.
Congratulations on your engagement!
to be married
I'm married. / I'm not married.
We've been married for seven years.
Is your brother married?
Common Mistakes
Mistake: I am get married.
Correction: I am getting married. (future) / I am married. (present)
Mistake: I have got married since 2011.
Correction: I've been married since 2011.
Mistake: I'm really happy to got married with Mehdi.
Correction: I'm really happy to be getting married to Mehdi. (future) / I'm really happy to be married to Mehdi. (present)
DIVORCE
get divorced
I don’t think they will get divorced.
Getting divorced can be so expensive.
Even if you get divorced, you still have to get along for the children.
to be divorced
Are they divorced?
Being divorced is extra complicated when you have kids.
They were unhappy for a long time, but now that they're divorced, they're both happier than ever.
Common Mistakes
Mistake: I hope that we will never be divorce.
Correction: I hope that we never get divorced.
Mistake: I’m sorry for your divorce.
Correction: I'm sorry to hear about your divorce.
Mistake: Get divorced is not easy.
Correction: Getting divorced is not easy.
PREGNANCY
to be pregnant
They were thrilled to find out that she was pregnant.
I’m pregnant!
She does not want to travel abroad while she's pregnant.
get pregnant
He can't wait for his wife to get pregnant. He's so excited about being a father!
You shouldn’t ask a woman if she plans on getting pregnant. It can be an insensitive question.
She's been trying to get pregnant for a few months now.
have a baby
They're going to have a baby.
She's having a baby. / She's pregnant.
We're having a boy.
to adopt a baby
We’re going to adopt a baby.
They’ve decided to adopt.
to have a surrogate
I have such a great surrogate. She texts me updates every day.
We’ve decided to use a surrogate.
Common Mistakes
Mistake: How many months have your baby?
Correction: How old is your baby now? / How many months is he/she?
Mistake: She has got pregnant.
Correction: She's pregnant.
Mistake: I wish that some day will come I get pregnant with twins.
Correction: I hope I have twins one day.
Mistake: She is going to get a baby.
Correction: She is going to have a baby.
Small Talk Is Important
Remember, technical skills get you hired, but soft skills get you promoted.
Interpersonal communication, in particular, is a soft skill that plays a crucial role in career advancement. Invest in your future by investing time and effort to improve your communication skills.
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