Deal with Difficult Colleagues Effectively
Navigating difficult and disrespectful colleagues in the workplace can be challenging, and even more so when communicating in a language that may not be your first.
It's natural to feel angry and upset in these situations, but it's important to remember to maintain a professional demeanor and effectively communicate to find a resolution.
It's alright to express your frustration, but it's essential to ensure that it's done in a calm and professional manner. Remember, by remaining composed and having a plan, you will be able to effectively address the situation and achieve a positive outcome.
STRATEGY
Dealing with difficult colleagues or employees can be a challenging task, but with the right preparation, you can navigate these situations with confidence. Here are ten tips to help you prepare:
1. Plan your timing and approach.
When dealing with challenging colleagues, it's essential to have a well-thought-out plan. Keep in mind that these individuals may be a part of your professional life for an extended period, and it's crucial to maintain a respectful and positive work environment.
Consider the best course of action for the specific situation. Would it be more effective to address the behavior via email with a copy to the HR department? Is it best to schedule a one-on-one meeting and follow up with an email? Or, is it appropriate to address the behavior in a group setting during a meeting?
2. Script your response.
If you’re going to email the person about it, write a draft now. Take time to look up email templates or phrases you can use to address the issue in the most professional way possible, especially if it’s in writing.
Keep in mind that your email can be forwarded or printed, so don’t write anything you wouldn’t want your boss to see.
If you’re going to confront the person verbally, script out what you want to say and practice saying it out loud several times. I recommend practicing in front of a mirror so you can make sure your body language is confident and that your tone and facial expressions match your message.
3. Visualize the confrontation.
Imagine being in front of this person and visualize them being rude or disrespectful to you. This should trigger the physical and emotional response that you’ve felt in real life.
It’s a lot more challenging to articulate your thoughts in English when you feel angry or frustrated. Practice saying your scripted response as you’re feeling this.
It’s important to train yourself to practice speaking calmly and clearly when your body is nervous or in fight-or-flight mode.
4. Write down your triggers.
When you confront someone, especially for the first time, it’s not effective to bring up all of things that they do that bother you. It can come across as petty and unprofessional. Focus on the main issue, and address it directly.
That being said, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings so you can think clearly. Take a moment to identify all the reasons this person triggers you and how they make you feel and write it down or say it out loud.
By doing this, you allow yourself to get all of the toxic emotions from past interactions out of your brain, and you clear your mind so you can deal with the current situation more effectively.
5. Be direct and respectful.
Using vague wording or being passive aggressive is not the most effective approach. Remember to express yourself clearly and professionally. Try to remain calm and composed, even if the situation is challenging.
The best response depends on a lot of factors: your position in relation to the other person, the severity of situation, the acceptable corporate culture, etc.
Use the tone and language that suits your situation, but remember that confidence goes a long way. That’s why practicing what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it (intonation, body language) ahead of time will help you respond more confidently and earn more respect from your peers.
By following these tips, you can be better prepared to handle difficult colleagues or employees in a professional and effective manner.
EXPRESSIONS
As a non-native speaker working in an international environment, it's crucial to possess the ability to express yourself clearly and effectively in English.
Practice saying the phrases below out loud so you when the time comes, you can speak up confidently:
To understand you better, can you please explain what you mean?
I’m happy to discuss this issue further, but let’s change the tone of this conversation and be more polite and professional.
While I understand you’re frustrated, I am not okay with how you are speaking to me right now.
I'm with you on that, but let’s focus on the issue at hand.
I appreciate your work, but there are some things that can be improved. Let’s talk about how we can work on it.
It seems like we have different expectations. What can I do to improve this situation?
Let's look at this from a different perspective.
I’m not going to engage in an argument with you. Take a some time to cool off and we can about this issue later.
Keep in mind that this is probably not going to be a one-time thing. Setting boundaries usually requires consistently standing up for yourself and clearly expressing your limits every time the behavior presents itself.
With preparation, practice and patience, you'll be better equipped to handle difficult colleagues in any situation.
COMMUNICATION
Technical skills get you hired, but soft skills get you promoted. Interpersonal communication, in particular, is a soft skill that plays a crucial role in career advancement.
Invest in your future by investing time and effort to improve your communication skills. You got this!
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“Tannia is a very authentic person and is able to provide clients powerful and versatile communication tools that can be employed in daily conversations, in negotiations or in meetings. Recently, an American client told me that she’s really impressed with my English. It felt awesome. Thanks, Tannia, for your support!” —Chris G.